i usually never cry, truly i don't. sometimes i just feel like my head will explode if i keep resisting, and i always do, you know, resist. i've lost my capacity to express sorrow way back in my youth. i want to blame you, but i can't.
this for sure is tough enough for me, even a lifetime of healing will not help.
im so incredible sad right now. i will never ever have the words to describe it. the feeling of the vulnerable part never fading.
im so sorry i can't meet all expectations. i know im a failure.
if i vanish, no one here would ever notice.
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